30 things i learned before turning 30
cheers to entering a new decade
Today’s my 30th birthday.
Last year, when I turned 29, I struggled with how close I was to a new decade. I love my life so much, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it looked different than I thought it would. I imagined I’d have a husband, or at least a boyfriend, maybe even a home of my own. I was so caught up in the timeline of it all that I didn’t really start enjoying being 29 until this past fall, when I stopped worrying about getting older and started making the most of where I actually was.
So I thought, what better way to kick off a new decade than by reminiscing on the last two and how they shaped me?
Here are 30 things I learned before turning 30:
There is nothing embarrassing about trying
Confidence comes from doing, not waiting
You’re allowed to want more for yourself
You can start over as many times as you need to
You’ll outgrow versions of yourself that you once thought were everything
Your life won’t look like you thought it would, and that doesn’t mean it’s wrong
Timelines are bullshit
You don’t need to have it all figured out to be exactly where you’re supposed to be
The least important thing about you is your relationship status
Your life gets bigger when you stop centering it around who you’re dating
You can want love deeply and still refuse to settle for less than you deserve
Almost will never be enough, no matter how much potential it had
You can miss someone and still know they weren’t right for you
Not everyone you lose is a loss
Closure rarely comes from other people, it comes from you deciding you’re done
The things meant for you won’t require you to abandon yourself
You teach people how to love you by what you tolerate
The version of you that keeps the peace is not always the version of you that’s the happiest
The things you’re most afraid to say are usually the most important
The right people will feel easy to be yourself around
Friendships will change, and some will end, and that’s part of it
Your world expands when you invest in your friendships
Growing up means realizing your parents are people too
The most powerful woman in the room is the one reminding other women they belong there too (Jaemi Pierson)
Happiness is a lot quieter than you expect it to be
Some of the best days of your life will be completely ordinary
You’re doing better than you think you are
You can build a life that feels good to you, not just one that looks good to others
The best parts of your life haven’t happened yet
You already know more than you give yourself credit for
Cheers to entering my 30s. I have a feeling they’re going to be the best decade yet.
PS: My new novel, How to Find Love in the Cereal Aisle, releases on August 4th and is available to pre-order here. I appreciate your time and support more than you know! ILYSM <3



Happy Birthday Alissa and thank you so much for this list (as a Dolly Alderton’s fan I love great, sentimental lists ❤️🩹)
Happy birthday!!